Nostradamus Speaks - A Hard Rain

A Hard Rain

It was with delight that I caught sight of my reliable old mentor as I turned the corner and headed into one of my favorite coffee shops, Peets at the Crossroads in Irvine.  There he was, decked out again in full tri-color Spandex, in the midst of a bunch of similarly clad bicyclists, yakking it up, no doubt discussing the results of the national elections.

"Yo!, Dr. N, my man!" said I, still joyfully ebullient over the shit stomping Mr. Vampire Capitalist Mitt Romney, the Tea Bag haters and the Christian Taliban received at the hands of my favorite presidential candidate this year, Barack Obama.

"You called it!" I shouted, as Dr Michel de Nostradamus, Seer of Seers, Prognosticator of Prognosticators, Visionary of Visionaries, and all around Font of Predictatory Insight, excused himself and made his way over to me.

"Greetings Number One," said the Great One, "Nice to see you, and I take it from your mood that you are happy how things turned out yesterday."

"Yes indeedy indeed, I most surely am," said I, "My head would have exploded had things gone the other way, not to mention my credibility and reputation taking a major hit."

"And how is that?"  the Good Doctor inquired.

"Dr. N, Maestro," I replied, " There are a lot of readers out there in the blogosphere who think that I just make this shit up for the "Nostradamus Speaks" column.  It I had missed a big one like who was going to win the presidency, I would have been just another hack in the crowd who are now publicly eating crow sandwiches on national television, meekly trying to explain how they could have been so wrong."

"I am somewhat disappointed, young Apprentice,"  Dr Nostradamus furrowed his brow, "I thought we had an understanding from our last conversation.  Do you recall what I said about "Nostradamus Speaks"?

"Of course I do,"  I protested.  "I memorized it:  Nostradamus Speaks, it's not about you, it's about me."  And, to repeat my congratulations Maestro, you nailed it."

The Good Doctor sighed,  "Yes, of course I nailed it.  I am, after all, the great Doctor Michel de Nostradamus, of historical repute, and making accurate predictions about the future is my stock in trade, my day job, so to speak."  

I savored the moment.  Realizing how lucky I was to have been chosen to be the One and Only Officially Authorized Spokesperson and Chief Apprentice for the great Michel de Nostradamus.  "Chief,"  I said, "Let's toast the moment."

"Very well, Number One,"  Dr. N replied, "Let's toast the moment.  But the moment will pass, and this victory you now celebrate with such enthusiasm will fade as quickly as a cheap fireworks display.  A hard rain is gonna fall and a great storm descend upon this land, and all the king's horses, and all the king's men won't put Humpty together again."

"Yikes,"  I said.  "Lighten up Sensei."

I looked around, but he was gone.

Dixi. 

(Originally published November 8, 2012)